


A Green Place

by Lutrosis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Cuddling & Snuggling, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy Ending, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Kylo Ren Redemption, Loneliness, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Reconciliation, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Soft Ben Solo, Stormtrooper Rebellion, Using your boyfriend'S lightsaber, Varykino (Star Wars), ben solo's good boy sweater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24739186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lutrosis/pseuds/Lutrosis
Summary: A few weeks after the battle on Crait their force bond connected them again. Rey and Ben struggle with their respective roles in the Resistance and the First Order. Both suffer alone but find solace in each other's company. First, they ignore the unresolved issues between them, but one night they come out in the open. Will they find their way to each other?
Relationships: Jannah/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	1. Finding each other

**Author's Note:**

> While writing a longer TROS-fix it, a short dialogue happening between Ben and Rey during one of their connections through the appeared in my head and I had to write the story belonging to that dialogue (it is the end of this chapter).  
> The story will contain a second chapter, that is almost finished, and will be uploaded tomorrow or the day after.
> 
> English isn't my first language, therefore I hope my style of writing isn't too bad.

It was a few weeks after the battle on Crait when Rey allowed the force to connect them again. She hadn’t known how to handle everything that occurred in less than a day between touching hands with Ben on Ahch-too and her closing the door of the Falcon while Ben kneeled in front of her. The rollercoaster of emotions had cost her much strength and Rey needed time to process all of her feelings and new knowledge. Hearing of Ben’s pain. Meeting him on the Supremacy. Being defended by him. Fighting at his side as his equal. Being proposed and betrayed by him at the same time. Fleeing from him. And now? Hating him? Loathing him? Missing him.

Leia had told her about Luke appearing on Crait – and Rey wondered how Ben had taken to meet his uncle again. His expression, before she had closed the Falcon’s door, haunted her. Rey was at a loss, how to handle her relationship with Ben, so she tried to avoid him and to distract herself with training, reading, and helping the Resistance. But being with them felt weird. Rey felt most comfortable being with Finn or Leia – and she warmed up to Rose. Her relationship with the other Resistance members was complicated. When she first met Poe, he seemed to be a nice and pleasant guy, however after some time passed he became exhausting and she tried to ignore him as often as possible – which was difficult because of his close connection to Finn and Leia and his leading role in the Resistance. Most of the others regarded her as some hero, the successor of Luke, the last hope, the flame that reignites the Resistance.

Rey struggled with handling that pressure. She didn’t want to be what they forced her to be. She was just Rey, she had barely more than a day training from Luke, she wasn’t the surrogate of some mythical Jedi-Resistance legend. She didn’t even possess a functioning lightsaber. However, leaving the Resistance wasn’t something Rey seriously considered, staying was simply without alternative. Being separated from them and alone was worse than playing their Last Jedi – and she couldn’t join Ben and the First Order, that was just impossible. Ruling the galaxy wasn’t what she wanted.

* * *

Being left by Rey in the throne room had made Ben angry. He raged after being betrayed again. Connecting with Rey had ignited a spark of hope in him. He couldn’t defy Snoke to save his father, but he had done it for Rey – and himself. Rey was his possibility for a new future and so he had offered her the grandest thing Kylo could imagine: Ruling the galaxy. But she had rejected him. As always Ben wasn’t enough. People always left him for something more important.

His father left so he could enjoy traveling through the galaxy. His mother left so she could create a better life for everyone but him. His uncle hadn’t left, but instead had tried to kill him – which was even worse. Snoke also hadn’t left him. Though the price of staying with him was immensely high. Ben had to endure more pain, humiliation, and violence than one being should ever be exposed to.

And yet Rey had come to him voluntarily. He had killed Snoke. And then she had betrayed him after he refused to assume a role, he thought he could never be again. She wanted him to turn. But there was nowhere he could turn to

Ben was sure, that Rey had been too late. The boy, that she wanted him to be, was killed by Luke and permanently destroyed by Snoke. He had endured too much in the last years to be the person, she wanted him to be.

The dark side thrived on the pain, that Ben had felt after he had woken up in the throne room. Seeing Hux standing above him ready to kill him and knowing that Rey was the newest addition to the line of people that had betrayed him, fueled him. Encountering his uncle on Crait had furthermore increased Ben’s rage. Luke’s apology felt hollow and the teasing tone of him had thrown Ben back to the bullying from Luke’s other students.

When Ben had discovered that Luke only projected himself onto Crait a dark hole inside him opened and swallowed his anger. He felt numb and lost. Finally, Ben had everything Kylo had ever wanted. He was Supreme Leader, he could live without Snoke, he could shape the galaxy, how he saw fit, but it all felt insignificant and his soul strived to something different, it seemed to seek out some kind of belonging, that he had yet to find.

Entering the old rebel base, Ben had felt a pull to the small control room to his left. On the floor laid the golden dices, that had belonged to his father. They always hung in the Falcon, but now they were in front of him, seemingly forgotten.

Even a few minutes earlier Ben would have felt mocked by these dices but now they only proved to him, that he missed his family, he missed his father, he missed his mother. He missed Rey. Kneeling on the floor sadness, loneliness, and desperation flooded through Ben and right on cue, the force connected him to Rey again. Seeing her observing him with her hazel eyes – not full of hate, like he thought they would be, but full of hurt and grief – they had simply looked at each other without speaking. Until Rey had closed their bond. And then the dice had vanished from his hands, like the future he could have had with Rey. The family they could have built.

It ripped a gaping hole right through Ben. In the following days, he could barely concentrate on his surroundings. He had no clue how he had managed to fulfill his duties as Supreme Leader. When the second week after the battle on Crait began, Ben started to be able, to consciously interact with his subjects again, but he didn’t manage to care about First Order’s projects. He delegated as much as possible and installed commissaries for as many tasks as reasonable. Most request Ben simply approved after skimming through them without much interest.

In some corners of his mind, he was aware, that his position wasn’t secure and that his careless approach to leadership bore the possibility of endangering him if some of his generals decided he was not fit of leading or discovered that he had killed Snoke. But whirling thoughts about Rey, the day they spent together, their force bond, his past, and his mistakes tended to take up most of Ben’s time and mind. With as much strength as he could muster, he tried to preserve his mask as Supreme Leader, though mostly he just spent his days in anguish over what could have been.

* * *

After the Resistance fled from Crait, they spent a few days searching for a new place for their base. Leia and Poe finally decided on the moon Ajan Kloss in the Cademimu Sector in the Outer Rim. It had been considered by the Rebels as a possible site for an outpost, but the shifting fronts had led to it never being used. The jungle planet provided the Resistance a secure and green new home. Rey had seen and lived in worse places.

However, she couldn’t warm up to how she was treated by the Resistance. Being put on a pedestal and having high expectations forced on her, hollowed her out. Yet Rey didn’t want to disappoint Leia or the others, so she tried to carry on.

Her breaking point was a trip to meet potential allies, two weeks later. Leia had sent Rey, Poe, and Kaydel to acquire credits, resources, and hopefully support from previously unaffiliated planets and systems, that had a history of supporting the Rebellion or were threatened by the First Order. Rey hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before and Poe’s and Kaydel’s speech about her skills, her meeting, and training under Luke and rebuilding the Jedi order after the war were too much.

Rey fled from the conference room where they had discussed possible support. She knew, that it wasn’t helpful to just leave the meeting, but she couldn’t stand it anymore. She never wanted to be paraded around. She wasn’t even a real Jedi. Rey was sure, that it was only a matter of time until the Resistance would see her shortcomings, and then she would be left alone again. They would cast her out. Running out of the room, she had turned a few corners until she sunk to the ground and held her head in her hands. The mental walls she had held up for the entire three weeks since Crait crumbled and her heart instinctively sought out the one person, that had previously been there for her, when she last broke down on Ahch-too after leaving the dark cavern.

* * *

Ben was alone in his rooms when he recognized the tell-tale signs of a beginning force connection. The sound of the Finalizer, the new flagship of the First Order – a fact that was strongly criticized by Hux, because he thought, that the First Order should have a bigger and more protruding flagship –, vanished and on the opposite side of the room, a small person crouching on the ground appeared. Ben was unable to move for the first moments. He hadn’t anticipated, that he would ever be connected with Rey again. Their bond seemed to be dormant after Crait and Snoke had said, that he created their connection – which had been a lie, obviously. Ben was unsure how to handle the situation, if he should approach Rey or if he should ignore her.

At first, Rey hadn’t noticed, that their force bond was active again. Her mind was too loud with all the thoughts, that swirled in it – it had drowned out everything else. But then she felt something deep in her, that urged her to lift her head and through teary eyes, she had looked up – and saw a stock-still standing person in front of her. Embarrassment and fear began to form themselves in her until she recognized that the person was Ben.

Using the silence between them she cataloged his appearance. He looked even worse than her. There were deep dark rings beneath his eyes, his skin was even paler than before. His usually pristine black locks were badly groomed. His stature, normally imposing and formidable, was sagging. His cape now too big for his body.

Rey had thought about how she would react to seeing Ben again, but right now she was too tired to argue with him. So, she just called out his name in her strained and strengthless voice and let her head fall back against the wall.

In the time in which Rey’s gaze wandered along his body, Ben came out of his stupor and concern awoke in him, when he saw the pain in Rey’s eyes and her broken posture. Her teary eyes and the tortured pronunciation of his name prompted him to move and kneel at her side. Rey was incapable to resist Ben’s proximity. When his hand caressed her cheek, she leaned into the comforting touch instead of flinching away. She closed her eyes, not wanting to have to agonize about the fact, that it was the touch of the Supreme Leader of the First Order that soothed her.

“What happened to you, Rey?” Ben asked concerned. Instead of answering him out loud, Rey opened her mind and let her feelings and recount of the events, that plagued her, flood through the bond to Ben. He took her feelings in and how the Resistance had used her and ignored her feelings. Seeing his mother through Rey’s eyes was a weird feeling – and Ben didn’t really know how to handle it but pushed it away to focus on Rey.

He was intimately familiar with Rey’s feeling of failing to fulfill Luke’s legacy. Ben himself nearly disappeared in having to be the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, nephew of Luke Skywalker, grandson of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, and Padmé Amidala.

Ben answered Rey in the same way she had spoken to him. He let her see, that he had endured the same feelings of inadequateness. He shared his pain and his embarrassment, his resentment, and his fear with her. Both leaned their foreheads together and simply existed in their shared space, knowing that they were understood, that they had found someone who didn’t judge them for their shortcomings but provided safety and strength. They interlaced their hands. His right with her left hand and her right hand with his left. They found balance in their connection – and when they sensed the end of their connection, Ben reopened his eyes and locked them with Rey’s and promised. “I got you, Rey.” Then both were alone again.

Rey took some time, to calm her breathing, then she stood up, ready to get through the chores, that she had to do for the Resistance. Whereas Ben sagged to the ground on the Finalizer, the grey room spinning around him, the sounds of the ship and the silence of space deafening him, feeling lonelier than ever before.

* * *

The second time the force connected them, was when both were asleep. Rey shot upright on her cot, wildly looking around her, not knowing what woke her up. She first thought, that their base was under attack, but then she saw a writhing body on the floor beside her. Ben was obviously asleep but muttered and seemed distressed. Rey was glad, that she was alone in her room and no one could witness their force bond. She didn’t want to have to explain to the Resistance leadership how she was connected to their highest-ranking enemy. She couldn’t allow them, to ever learn of her relationship to Ben, because Rey was sure, that she would be exiled if it would be revealed. A small voice in a corner of her mind added, that it wasn’t right, that she couldn’t trust the people that should have been her home and family and that it was ironic, that the person, she could tell everything, was supposedly her enemy.

Not sure what to do, Rey stood up and kneeled beside Ben. Having a few days of a break after she had met with the potential allies – which wasn’t that unsuccessful even after her abrupt leaving the room – created a little bit of clarity in her mind. She knew that there were important, unresolved issues and problems between Ben and her and that her feelings to him were extremely torn, but seeing the tears rolling out of his eyes and the pain he experienced, she decided to address these issues later, when not one of them needed immediate help and solace.

Rey slowly stroke Ben’s shoulder. In a clear voice, she spoke to him. “Ben, you need to wake up. Come on, just open your eyes.” Hearing her words, Ben’s eyes shot open and with a heaving breath, he sat upright. Only now Rey noticed, that Ben was shirtless again. On Ahch-too defined muscles had dominated his upper body, but now he seemed more haggard as if he had trained more and eaten less. Rey forced herself to concentrate on Ben’s face, his distraught eyes, his open and panting mouth. “It was just a nightmare,” she comforted him. “You are awake now. Nothing can hurt you.” Gradually Ben seemed to regain the ability to focus on his surroundings and her. His hands came up to his face and covered it, then he wiped away the last remnants of his sleep and nightmare and he turned towards Rey while staying close to her. One of his hands came up to his shoulder and laid on her hand.

“Thank you,” Ben murmured, his eyes cast downward. A small hint of his gratitude flowed through their bond. “What did you dream of?” Rey asked him. Ben took some time before he answered her. Grasping the hand on his shoulder and he led them to her other hand to cradle them both in his lap enveloped inside his hands. With a small voice, he spoke to her. “I usually have nightmares of that night with Luke or of one of the many encounters I had with Snoke. Sometimes I relive something from before my time with Luke. My parents leaving or fighting. Being ostracized by Luke’s students is also a common element.” Ben’s voice stopped. He took a deep breath and a frown appeared on his face; tears formed in his eyes. “Killing my father is obviously a new one.” He added.

Rey waited a few minutes to let Ben take comfort from their closeness and their touch. Cautiously she reached out through their bond to console him on this level, too. “That are many different nightmares.” She had decided, that there was nothing she could do to take his pain away, but she could acknowledge it without judgment or belittlement. She turned their hands around so that his bigger hands were laying in her smaller ones. She couldn’t really embrace them because of their size difference, but she sensed that he understood the gesture and appreciated it.

“I never sleep without their company. They visit me every night, in which I can find some hours of sleep. It is only natural that I must endure them. I have many shortcomings; I made many mistakes.” Rey took their hands into her lap and because of her movement, Ben looked up into her eyes. “And you had to survive so much pain and violence. You aren’t merely haunted by your failures, but by what others did to you, too.” A sob wrecked through Ben’s body and he fell forward. Swiftly Rey disentangled their hands, stabilized Ben, and pulled him into her arms. In their embrace she let all of Ben’s pain flow through the bond to her, so she could help him carry it. At least for the time, the force connected them, she could support him and be there for him.

“What did you dream of this time?” Rey asked him. She hoped it would help Ben if he had a place to voice what haunts him. But Ben just shook his head. He wasn’t ready to tell Rey his newest nightmare. He couldn’t tell her which scene constantly replayed in his head. He couldn’t burden her with what pains him so much, that he can barely function. Instead he staid in their embrace. Relishing in their shared touch, something that he missed for far too long. Then Rey vanished and Ben was alone, again.

Without Rey’s protection, he staggered. Ben closed his eyes. The loneliness after Rey had vanished, left him hollow. Anguish and dreadfulness in anticipation of the images that will assault him, should he fall asleep again, filled him. Ben laid back down on his bed, closed his eyes, and instantly the scene from his dream reappeared in front of his closed eyelids. The burning throne room. Snoke lying dead on the ground. His hopefulness blooming inside him. Rey’s tearful gaze and pleading. The dead feeling and pain erupting inside him when she chose the Resistance over him. Tears began to roll from his eyes down his face.

* * *

In the following weeks, Ben and Rey had the unspoken agreement, not to talk about the Resistance or the First Order. Most of the time they spent with each other, they simply held hands or – if the situation allowed it – they hugged. They used their bond to feel less lonely and to carry the other’s pain. They pushed acceptance and understanding through their connection if needed.

Rey was able to fulfill her role in the Resistance better and the others thought, that she grew into it and didn’t saw, the masks that Rey put on in front of them. But her work felt unfulfilling, her secluded training and researching of the force were frustrating and she constantly missed the short periods of time she spent with Ben.

Ben, on the other hand, used the renewing strength, that his connection with Rey offered, to control what went on around him. He knew, that he was in constant danger and – while he was weary and tired and didn’t knew what the future would bring him – he wanted to be able to defend himself. He had no death wish. Especially Hux was the main person, he had an extra eye on, so the general couldn’t betray him.

While the Resistance furthered their rebuilding, the First Order stabilized their dominance over their subjects, improved their economy, and organized their future raids. Ben offered no vision of grand conquests, so the generals focused on enriching themselves. An eerily sense of calmness was lying over the galaxy.

In that time Rey was woken up less than a handful of times by Ben’s nightmares. She never saw them through their bond but always calmed him afterward. After the second time, they spent like this, Ben and Rey used the remaining time of their connection to fall asleep together – softly embracing each other.

One night – two and a half months after they met on the Supremacy – Rey discovered what nightmare tormented Ben. They had already spent some time together in the morning and normally the force waited a couple of days until it reconnected them again. Maybe the force didn’t want to wait any longer for Rey and Ben to finally speak about their fateful conversation in Snoke’s throne room, maybe their meeting in the morning had reenergized Rey enough, that she woke up faster than usual. However, this night, the images pouring through their bond showed Rey what Ben saw in his sleep.

Rey saw herself killing one of the Snoke’s guards and throwing her lightsaber to Ben, so he could defeat the last of the guards who was still alive. She saw the hope and the relieved anticipation blooming in Ben. She experienced how both were demolished again when she refused to join him. She felt Ben’s desperation, his confusion, and his bitter disappointment.

Freeing herself of the hold, that the images had over her when they began to replay in Ben’s and her head, she swiftly woke him up. But this time she kept her distance from him. She saw the usual process of Ben regaining his focus, getting ahold of the world around him, and leaving his nightmare behind. He turned to her, ready to let himself fall into her arms and nearly landing on the ground when she sat several feet again. Confusion took hold on his face and hurt was visible in his eyes.

“We have to talk, Ben.” She addressed him. Ben studied her expression, tried to brush against her mind through the bond to understand what this was about, but Rey had her mental walls up, and kept him out. “What is this about, Rey?” Ben asked her.

Rey made herself small, tucked her knees to her chest, and put her arms around them. “What are we doing, Ben?” She hadn’t the strength to look him into his eyes, too afraid of what she would find there. “We can’t just carry on and ignore everything around us, everything about us.”

Anguish coursed through Ben. The nightmare, that he had just escaped from, seemed to repeat itself in front of him. Only it wasn’t the betrayal, that had already happened, but a reenactment in the present. “Why can’t we? Don’t you feel it, too? This feeling, when we are together? This balance?”

The situation and the tension between them weakened Rey’s hold on her emotions and anger surfaced briefly in her. “Of course, I feel it. How could you question that?” When she reined her emotions in again, Rey continued. “But we are on opposite sides of a war. You are the Supreme Leader. They call me the Last Jedi. I can’t carry on like that. It rips me apart.”

Ben stepped towards her, but Rey immediately slid back, and Ben stopped, his heart heavy in his chest. “You know that there is an easy solution for this. I once asked you to join me, to stay at my side. This offer still stands. I want you with me. I want to build the future together.” After Crait, Ben had vowed to never let hope grow inside him again, but at this moment his feelings betrayed him and again he awaited Rey’s answer anxiously.

“Ben, you know I can’t leave them. I can’t do that to them, to Finn, to your mother.” The pain of Rey’s rejection filled Ben. It was simultaneously worse and easier this time. He already knew what it would do with him, but to be rejected again also hurt more. His hold on himself crumbled. “Yeah, I know.” He scoffed. Before Rey could say more than a softly exhale of his name, he continued.

“You can’t do that to them, yet you can do it to me. You can’t leave them, but me you can leave. Is it because you know that I would, that I could never leave you?

Your greatest fear is to be left, and you do everything to not have to endure that feeling again. You bend yourself into impossible and hurtful shapes so that you can stay with them. Even though they can never fully understand you. Even though they force you to play a role, that you aren’t comfortable with. Even though they will never accept us, you won’t leave them.

If you would stay with me, you could have everything you wish for. Food in abundance. Safety. We could shape the galaxy however we like. We could stay together forever. And yet – every time you leave me. Your fear of being alone seemingly inexistent. Isn’t it extraordinarily cruel, that you don’t even consider staying with me, where you don’t have to be afraid, where you don’t have to wear a mask, where you can just be you without any judgment?”

There were long moments of silence between them. Their pain and anger washing through the bond, exhausting both. Then – for the first time this night – Rey looked Ben in his eyes. “Yeah, that is cruel. But you are forgetting, that I’m not the only cruel one here. You also won’t join me, we both stay where we are, we both hurt each other.

And there is something else… If I would join you… Then I wouldn’t get the one thing I want most.” Ben’s eyes awaited her to proceed. With a soft tone, Rey resumed. “If I would join you, then I couldn’t have a simple happy life with you in a peaceful, green place.” Then she vanished.

Around Ben, his world crumbled. Light bloomed inside his heart. And darkness was illuminated.


	2. Loving each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being disconnected after their fateful and long-overdue conversation, leads to different reactions from Ben and Rey. Rey misses Ben; Ben needs to make decisions - and the Resistance isn't happy over every new recruit, that joins them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story accidentally increased by one chapter, because this one got much longer than expected (I just couldn't shorten the last scene).
> 
> English isn't my first language, but I hope that my writing style and grammar skills aren't too bad.

Rey couldn’t calm down for the remaining nighttime. She spent the hours restless in her room. In the following days, she anxiously waited for the force to reconnect her with Ben. But she couldn’t even feel him through their bond. Rey was brief in her conversation with others, brusquely averted concerned questions, and was generally less cautious consecutively alienating the other Resistance members. Losing her connection to Ben hollowed her out. Rey was unbalanced. She didn’t know what had prompted that change.

The distance that had begun after Crait between her and Finn grew even more. He spent most of his free time with Poe or with Rose, went on missions, and tended to avoid her. Rey’s complicated relationship with Poe worsened and they couldn’t spend time together without arguing. Rey tried her best to avoid Leia and was glad that the general was often occupied with recruiting new allies and gaining new resources from them. Only Rose achieved to maintain a somewhat good and stable connection to Rey when they repaired droids, ships, and machines together. She sensed that Rey was deeply troubled but offered her time and space with acceptance and without judgment, which Rey was very glad about.

* * *

The Resistance had been completely safe on Ajan Kloss. The only violent and dangerous encounters happened on missions and then mostly on those that were expected to be risky. But nearly a week after Rey’s and Ben’s clash, for the first time alarm sounded through the base. Unknown and unidentified vessels were leaving hyperspace close to the moon.

Rey joined the leadership in the control room to learn what happened. Currently, the crew was working on identifying how many and what kind of ships were approaching the base. The projected trajectory seemed to lead them straight to the Resistance. When the ships got closer to Ajan Kloss they finally discovered, that it was a single, small ship, that had caused the alarm. Leia ordered the crew on their defense positions and to ready themselves. A group of X-wing fighters under the command of Poe, that had started shortly before, was on their way to stop and companion the approaching vessel.

As the foreign ship entered the moon’s atmosphere, it was clear that there were no active weapons on it and the X-wings, that flanked it, reported, that there were in fact no weapons at all attached to it. Discussions if this was a trap, new recruits, or random visitors happened around the control room and at the defense weapons. Visible from the base but in a safe distance, the ship halted its descent. The x-wings were stationed around it, ready to fire. From the command base, the confrontation was easily observable. But multiple attempts to comm the ship were yet unsuccessful. 

There were a few shorts moments of silence, were everyone awaited Leia’s orders. Then the comm system crackled and a voice was audible. “I come in search of a simple happy life in a green and peaceful place.” Rey spun around where she had heard the voice and at the same time, her bond reopened in full. And her mind was filled with a single thought. “Ben.”

Rey noticed Leia’s wide eyes and her recognition of the owner of this voice and the general’s mouth silently formed the name of her lost son, a tear running down her face. Fear filled Rey. She called out. “Stand down, don’t attack him.” She rushed to the comm system, to order all pilots and troopers to stop. She knew, that Ben had come for her. That he had chosen her and their future. That he had come home. She couldn’t risk losing him, she wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. Not if they finally could be together.

Leia laid a hand on Rey’s shoulder to stop her. “Are you sure, that is the right way, Rey? This could be a trap.” Her eyes were sorrowful as if she didn’t want to imagine, that her son would do something like this, but had to make sure for the sake of the other, that were under her care. Confusion spread through the Resistance members. They didn’t understand what was happening. Who was in that ship who elicited such strong reactions from both women?

With tears in her eyes, Rey looked at the general. “I can feel it. This isn’t a trap. There is no malicious intent in him. Please you have to trust me. We have a bond; we can feel if the other one is lying. We can close it, but I would know if he would hide something. Please, Leia.” All the things Rey had concealed from the rest of the Resistance for the last months rushed out of her.

With a sharp nod, Leia acknowledged Rey’s pleading. Then she addressed the Resistance. “Pilots escort the ship to the ground in front of the command center. Troops, come back to the command center and rally there.” Then she answered Ben. Leia drew a deep breath to fortify herself and said with a strong voice. “Welcome home. Please follow the x-wings to the ground and then slowly depart your ship. We are not here to hurt you.”

It was long minutes, in which the ships carefully descended towards the ground and landed. Ben’s ship powered down and the ramp hissed and then opened. His imposing figure appeared on the top of the ramp. He had lost the black cape and gloves but had kept the color scheme. A dark sweater clung to his body, his boots and pants also black. Seeing him standing there, freed Rey of everything that had her standing still in anticipation. She ran towards him; up the ramp and threw herself in his arms.

Ben and Rey relished in the feeling of finally holding each other without the force as an intermediary. They hadn’t even known that their feelings were muted by their force connection. Their whole bodies touching each other, their full weight pressed against each other, their smell encompassing them, their heartbeats syncing, the same wind playing with their hair, the same air filling their lungs. It was an explosion of utter satisfaction and bliss inside and between them. At the same time, tears sprung up in their eyes. Tears of happiness. Tears of shared pain they had endured until finally able to hold each other.

Only slowly they became aware of their surroundings again. They would have stayed in the entrance of Ben’s ship for a far longer time, just holding and hugging each other, but their situation was still precarious. Rey longed to bring Ben out of the spotlight into safety. Slowly they detangled from each other. Rey turned around and Ben looked at the crowd standing in front of them.

* * *

Most of the Resistance still had no clue, who the stranger was, in which arms their last Jedi had thrown herself. Only two people currently present knew his face – Finn, and Leia. Leia had already recognized her son’s voice before he had landed, but Finn was completely blindsided when he realized who stepped out of the ship. Immediately he tried to grab his blaster to attack the former Supreme Leader and defend his new-found family. But Rey had seen his movement and sensed his inner turmoil. She reacted faster than Finn could move and stepped in front of Ben and froze Finn with the force. Leia realized the problem and tried to deescalate the situation. “Finn, I know you have questions and concerns, but we will explain everything later. Not here out in the open.”

The confusion only increased in the Resistance after Rey’s actions and Leia’s words. Who was this man, that the ex-Stormtrooper tried to attack him on sight and who was defended by their last hope and their general? But Leia would not be herself if she couldn’t instill some sense of calmness with a few words.

Rey wished she had her lightsaber back, with which she could have defended herself and Ben if someone decided to attack them. She wouldn’t let any harm done to him, but without her weapon, this was more difficult to accomplish. When the situation felt safe enough, she pulled Ben with her until they were only a few steps away from his mother. Slowly Ben’s hand wandered to his side, unclipping the saber that had hung there slightly hidden from the people around him. With a cautious but determined movement, he held the saber in his open palm and handed it over to Rey.

When Ben had reached for his lightsaber, her memory of Ben killing Han on Starkiller Base had risen inside of her, but she felt Ben’s emotions and saw his posture and instinctively knew, that this was different than back then. As Ben presented her his saber, she looked at him with a bright smile, that elicited a smaller one on his own face. Admiring how this small change of the corners of his mouth could transform his whole expression, she briefly forgot about the saber laying in his palms. Until Ben pointed to his hands with a short, soft nod.

A slight blush spread on Rey’s cheeks and with a bashful smile, she took the saber from him with one hand while her other, squeezed Ben’s biceps to express her gratitude. Then she presented Ben’s weapon to Leia, who cautiously took the weapon, that was used to kill her husband in her hands.

While Poe hadn’t recognized Ben’s face, he recognized the weapon that changed hands in front of him. His sharp intake of breath caused Leia to turn her head towards him, instead of talking to her son. With a questioning look, she regarded her mentee. Poe answered her unspoken question. “I know this saber, Leia. I saw it used in a fight. I know who wields it.” His eyes wandered warily towards Ben. “I know that you said, that you would answer our questions and that we should trust you, but I think that it would be wise if we would ready our weapons.”

Before Leia could react, Rey intervened and snarled at Poe. “Don’t you even dare to think of harming him.” Instinctively she used the force to call Ben’s saber into her own hands, ready to ignite it. “I have no qualms of using this if you attack him.” Rey’s previous encounters with Poe had always been potentially explosive, but the tense situation increased that risk. Immediately he focused his attention on her. “You’d really betray us for him?” Poe spat out. “It was me refusing to betray the Resistance, that led him here,” Rey answered him in the same tone.

For the first time, since he had left his ship Ben opened his mouth and spoke. “Mo… General Organa, I think now would be the right time to relocate inside the command center. I am not here to attack you, instead, I am here to right my wrongs and support the resistance’s attempt to bring peace to the galaxy.” With a piercing look, Leia regarded her son for a long moment, then pointed to the command center behind her.

* * *

The atmosphere inside the command center was more than tense. On one side of the room stood and sat the leadership that was ranked directly under Leia. On the other side of the room, Ben sat on a chair with Rey standing beside him, one hand comfortingly on his shoulder, and his saber clipped on her belt on her other side. Leia and Poe chose to stand near the Resistance’s leadership, but more to the center of the room. Finn leaned against the wall of the room opposite of Leia and Poe with arms-crossed and glaring at Ben.

Leia opened the meeting. “To get everything up to speed, let me introduce our guest. Most of you will know him as Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.” A loud rumble wandered through the assembled leadership at Leia’s words. Curious eyes turned angry or afraid. Some glanced confused at Rey, but most felt somewhat betrayed by their embrace in the door of his ship. With a gesture, Leia regained control of the room. “But you also have to know, that Kylo Ren is an alias. His born name is Ben Chewbacca Skywalker Organa Solo. He is my and my husband’s son and Luke’s former student.”

Chaos erupted in the room and everyone talked over each other. It took several minutes until everyone had calmed down again. Then Ben spoke. “My mother told you the truth. What you don’t know, is why I came to you and how I found you. After difficult conversations, someone showed me that the path I had been one, only hurt myself and the people, I lo… hold dear.” Ben’s eyes shortly focused on Rey, who gifted him a small smile, encompassing all her feelings of gratitude and appreciation, that she simultaneously pushed through their bond.

“I used the force and the signatures of my mom and Rey to find your base. No one at the First Orders knows where you are, I changed ships multiple times and they are currently occupied with rebuilding their leadership. As I said, I wish to do what I can to right my wrongs. I would like to help you end this war, so we can work on establishing peace in the galaxy. I have a data chip with intelligence from the First Order on my ship, that will help us defeat them.”

* * *

Before he had left the First Order, Ben had used a meeting with some of his highest-ranked generals, like Hux, to kill them and to create chaos in their leadership and to prevent the havoc they would wreak and the killings they would perform after his absence. He had ordered multiple time- and resource-consuming tasks, that would further weaken the First Order. The following turmoil inside the First Order and the advantage for the Resistance through his intelligence would let them turn the war around and gain the upper hand that they needed to end it.

The hours-long meeting didn’t disperse all concerns, that were voiced by the Resistance’s leadership, but it was enough, that everyone could move on to the next day. Yet there was the question, where Ben would spend his time on Ajan Kloss. Poe strongly supported, that he should be put in a prison cell, though quickly everyone understood, that they had no means of stopping a fully trained Force-user if they seriously attempted to break out. Rey proposed that Ben should be placed with her because she was best equipped to stop him, should the situation arise.

Poe and Finn advocated heavily against her proposal because they feared for her safety, but Leia used her authority to postpone that decision and that Rey’s suggestion would be temporarily accepted. Rose showed Ben his new room and provided him with his own sleeping mat, while Rey remained in the command center to speak privately with Leia, Poe, and Finn to ease the lingering tension between them. She told them about her force bond with Ben and explained how it worked. Both men very much disliked Rey’s connection to their enemy but found no argument from which they could convince her of the danger, they saw.

It was an hour after the meeting when Rey joined Ben in her room. For the first time since he had arrived, they had some peace from the rush and restlessness around them. Standing a few feet apart they looked at each other, a shy atmosphere laying itself over the room. When they were connected through the force, they had established a routine to their encounters, but this was the first time, they were alone without the force connecting them since their parting in Snoke’s throne room – and both didn’t know how to act in this situation.

Rey tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, then her eyes wandered around the room. “There is the ‘fresher if you need it. The floor probably won’t be really comfortable, the mat is rather thin, sorry.” She looked at him. “I’ve slept in worse conditions, so I will be okay,” Ben answered her. There was a short pause between them.

Then Ben took a step forward. “Rey? I meant what I said when I arrived here.” Rey’s face formed a quizzical expression. “You know? A happy life in a green place?” A faint blush appeared on her cheeks. Rey refused to meet his eyes. “Yeah, I heard you when you said that.” Again, Ben stepped forward. “But do you know what I meant by that? What I am trying to say, trying to do here?” A soft frown formed on Rey’s forehead. She shook her head in a small movement. “I am not sure? I… When we talked… before you came here… I told you, that that was the reason I couldn’t stay with you, because I wanted that, but would never have it if I had joined you.”

By now Ben stood so close to Rey, that he could take her hands in his – slowly he caressed her knuckles with his thump, her fingers laying in his palms. The small frown on her face still visible, but now accompanied by a deep ache in her eyes for the connection, she had with Ben. A lonely tear rolling from her eyes, while she studied their linked hands. Then Ben began to speak and fully opened his mind through their bond to show her the validity and magnitude of his feelings and conviction.

“I was so hung up on fulfilling this role, they had forced upon me. My parents, my uncle, Snoke. It seemed I always had to strive towards grandness. To make the galaxy a better place. That was my goal and I thought that was the biggest thing I could offer anyone. To rule it together. What more valuable thing could there be? And I couldn’t understand, how you wouldn’t join me. Unless you were like my mother or my uncle. Bound to repeat the mistakes of the past, bound to overdue values.

When you told me, that you didn’t want a life in the spotlight of the galaxy, but instead just wanted me for me, that you wanted to be my family without all these heavy expectations forcing us down, you broke me.” Through the bond, Ben showed her, what her statement caused inside him. His unhappiness weighing him down; him constantly chasing after unobtainable goals; the deep-seated obsession to fulfill his role as sole heir of galaxy-shaping individuals; the statue he built of himself inside of him, as the person he thought he should be: knowledgeable in the force, confident in his rule, secure in his character, strong in his abilities, just and guarding, perfect and respected. Then a small scene grew in all that heavy and bleak darkness. Green meadows, a beautiful garden next to a small house, laughter in the air, no other persons in the near neighborhood. The radiant vision gradually getting bigger and everything else falling away.

“That was never something, I knew I could have. I never knew that someone wanted that for me. No one ever wanted me just for me. I thought… I thought you wanted a different version of me, like everyone else. I thought you wanted this young boy, that never turned to the dark side, full of light. That boy that never existed. But… But hearing you, that you just wanted me… just me…” Ben’s voice broke down.

Now Rey stepped towards Ben, so they were only inches separated from each other. She lifted their hands until they were between them at the level of their chests, then she interlinked their fingers. Both felt the comfort from their intimate gesture. “I am not afraid of your darkness, Ben. I never was. I was afraid of what Snoke made you do. I was afraid of you trying to destroy the part, that was full of light, inside of you. The darkness inside of mustn’t be evil. So many people hurt you. Why shouldn’t there be darkness inside of you? I want you, all of you, every part, dark and light.”

Rey pulled Ben’s arms around her, so they laid around her waist and his hands on the small on her back. She put her own arms under his and settled them on the place, where his shoulder blades ended. “You saw inside of me. There is the same darkness. When I was with Luke, he recognized it, too. He chided me for not fearing it.” At the mentioning of his uncle’s name, Ben’s body stiffened, but through the comforting embrace, he softened again quickly. Their need for closeness increased and Ben leaned forwards to rest his head against Rey’s. They relished in the additional sensual experience. Taking in each other smell. Feeling their skin touch. Ben noticing every freckle on Rey’s face. Rey observing the soft changes in Ben’s eyes, that were their own language.

“I am not afraid of your darkness,” she repeated. “I don’t want you to take on another mask. I don’t want you to be someone you aren’t. But when I look into your eyes, I see the same longing, that is inside of me. I want a chance for this dream to become reality; a chance for us to finding our place. I want you to find your balance and to never be subjected to the dark or the light side, again,” Rey ended fiercely.

Rey and Ben had moved so closely together, that nothing was separating their bodies. Ben lifted his head from Rey’s, to be able to better look her in her eyes. They missed the additional sensation, that their touch had provided, but the air, they were both breathing together, was charging. A fluttering tension built itself up inside their stomachs – increased by the now constant flow through their bond. “You once told me, that you feel it, too. That thing between us. When we touched hands on Ahch-too, it was there. And now I feel it again. This is more than just a bond through the force, isn’t it?” Rey freed her left hand from Ben’s back and brought it up to his head. Her fingertips stroked his cheekbone. A light quiver traversed through her hand, and goosebumps followed the trail of her fingers. Rey observed how her own hand slowly wandered into Ben’s hair, savoring its silken and soft feeling.

“I want a future with you, Ben. I want you,” Rey whispered. In answer a feeling of home and belonging, of contentment and felicity ebbed through their bond, filling them both. “You already have me, Rey. I think, you always had. I just needed some time to catch up.” Rey’s eyes flickered to Ben’s mouth. The corners of her mouth forming a short, small smile. Ben took a shuddering breath and then lowered his head. His lips meeting Rey’s. Immediately she softly pressed against his lips – relishing in their feeling and their taste. Ben angled his head so that his lower lip moved between Rey’s, their moment stretching into infinity.

They didn’t separate for the night, but instead, both got onto the cot, where Rey had slept. Ben pulled her onto his chest, so they could fit in the small space, Rey’s head laying comfortably on his chest. Her leg entangled with his, her arm wrapped around him. One of Ben’s hands was buried in Rey’s hair and stroked her head, the other secured her on him. This night the pair got the best sleep, they had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter concluding this short story will be posted on the weekend.


	3. Living together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ben joined Rey and the Resistance, they have to win the war against a weakened First Order. The resistance still feels uncomfortable with the presence of the former Supreme Leader in their midst. The both force-users only have on lightsaber between them, which they have to remedy - and Ben has many difficult conversations to have. Yet Rey and Ben cling to their dream of a happy end and won't let go of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter concludes this small story. Open plot points are resolved and everyone gets their happy end. I am rather satisfied with my work, even if it underwent some major changes. 
> 
> Please remember, that English isn't my first language. I am doing the best, I can and I hope you all enjoy reading my story.

In the following weeks, Ben and Rey didn’t advertise their new relationship, because the tension in the Resistance base was still high. Though they used the excuse, that Rey must keep him under her guard, to be able to sleep in the same room. Both didn’t like, that they were mostly unable to touch each other during the day but made up for it when they were in the security of their own room.

Especially Finn and Poe led the group inside the Resistance that as outspokenly against Ben’s involvement in their fight against the First Order. Yet both had slightly different reasons for their opposition. Finn had heard and seen Kylo Ren’s cruelty and couldn’t fathom how this evil monster could ever turn to the light. And he was particularly concerned about Rey’s safety. He felt responsible for her and in his eyes, Kylo Ren was a danger to her well-being.

Even when his own desertion was parallelized with Ben’s, he declared, that there were major differences between them. The most important being, that he deserted after he had refused to kill people on his first mission and never intentionally had killed a close family member. Finn's argument, that he was brainwashed and conditioned since he was abducted as a little boy, fell through, when it was revealed, that Ben endured similar – or even worse – treatment, once the former Supreme Leader had to open up about his past to the leadership of the Resistance. It was incomprehensible for Finn, how Rey could compare both desertions from the First Order.

Rey speculated that jealousy played a big role in Finn’s adversary as well. They had known each other the longest, but with each day the distance between them had grown – even before Rey had met Ben. She believed, that Finn felt as if he was replaced, yet he had never occupied the role in her life, that Ben had.

Poe on the other hand obeyed Leia’s commands in all matters concerning Ben, though he used every possibility to voice his objections. He asserted, that allowing Kylo Ren to join the Resistance was an immense security risk, and that they couldn’t be sure, that he wouldn’t turn against them. Once a traitor, always a traitor.

He also was a passionate proponent of a trial against Kylo Ren. It was a controversial topic inside the Resistance if changing the sides in the war and helping to bring down the First Order would abdicate someone from past crimes. Poe stressed, that Kylo Ren was responsible for crimes too immense to not convict him of them – the Hosnian cataclysm and Starkiller Base in general, the stormtrooper program. Every time he brought them up, Rey defended Ben, because while he was part of the First Order, the organization guilty of these crimes, Ben personally objected to them. However, Poe defended his stance, because no one could prove, Kylo Ren’s opposition while being part of the First Order.

Poe couldn’t understand how their last hope could align herself with the Jedi Killer. He remembered his torture after his visit to Jakku when Kylo Ren had interrogated him. In Poe’s mind the theory formed itself, that the darksider could have interfered with Rey’s mind – but every time he tried to cautiously voice this theory, Leia and especially Rey shut him down, and declared, that the force didn’t work that way and that they would know if Ben had mind tricked her into doing something. An infuriated Rey told Poe more than once, that she had thrown Ben out of her mind, when she was untrained and unfamiliar with her powers, there was no possibility, that he could have done something to her, that she couldn’t fight to the point to alert the others around her.

Ben usually remained calm in these discussions and simply lend Rey his silent support and trusted her. Of course, he didn’t want to be put on trial, but he also knew, that it was something that could be a real possibility – and he knew, that the demand wasn’t unjustified. Ben had always been aware of the things he did, he saw their evilness, but being part of the First Order, he had thought of them as a necessary evil to achieve greater goals. Unsure about his future, he tried to focus on Rey as his anchor to stabilize his inner turmoil.

* * *

The rift between Rey and the majority of the Resistance grew with every passing day, Her connection to Ben and their force abilities differentiating them. Rey transformed from being viewed as the last Jedi and hope to an unsettling young woman, with strong convictions, that often diverted from the main consent of the Resistance. Lack of understanding dominated the everyday interactions between Rey and the general trooper. Her intimate connection to Ben irritated them, which in turn increased the time Rey spent with them – the only person she felt at home with.

Though not everyone distanced themselves from the two force-users. Rose had observed how Rey had greeted Ben when he had arrived at the Resistance Base and she had spent some time alone with him when she had shown him to his – respectively Rey’s – room. She noticed the obvious and shared deep connection and affection they had with each other. That this resulted in the Supreme Leader abdicating his position to end the war through destroying his former allies only enforced Rose’s philosophy, that their victory will be achieved through saving, what one loves.

Though she had pulled Ben aside on his second day, to question him and told him of her family’s history on Hays minor. She wanted to know, what his stance on slavery was, which the First Order practically had enforced on planets and systems, they had subjected. Ben had made no excuses for their mistreatment but instead had explained to her his role inside the First Order. That he had tried to ignore all pain, that they had and were forcing onto the galaxy and its inhabitants for the greater cause. That he had blended himself with the false promises, that Snoke had made him. Ben promised Rose, that he would help her personally in freeing the slaves while fighting against the First Order. Ben’s repentance and his pledge were enough for Rose to move on with Ben.

Later Rey expounded more on Ben’s past when she was alone with Rose. She didn’t tell her many details, but clarified, how Snoke had wormed himself inside Ben’s brain when he was still a child and shortly described Luke’s betrayal. With this further knowledge, Rose was completely ready to forgive Ben for his past actions – and she was proud of Rey, that she had diverted from the path, that not only the Resistance and the rest of the galaxy, but also Luke had taken, and instead had compassionately engaged with Ben.

It hurt her to see Rey being isolated by the others on the base and she often spoke with Finn to make him see the pain he caused her, but to no avail. In the weeks after Crait, Rose had discovered glimpses of the woman, that Rey seemed to truly be. She had seen Rey’s unease with the role she was forced to play in the Resistance and even if she hadn’t really taken Rose up on her offer to lend Rey an open ear, she trusted Rose more and more every day, and let herself be vulnerable in her presence and opened up to her.

Torn between the man, who had accompanied her to Canto Bight and who she had saved on Crait, and the woman, that she increasingly became more familiar with and who filled a place in her life that she had long missed, Rose stopped to divide herself between the two groups, when Poe and Finn pushed her to convince Rey of the danger and risks of fraternizing with Kylo Ren. As the resentment by the Resistance-majority began to fret Rey, she turned to Rose to talk with her about her worries, and in succession, their relationship deepened.

Ben was happy about Rey becoming friends with the mechanic. He had survived years of bullying and mistreatment by people, that were close to him, but Rey had been alone for so long, that she deserved to have more than one person, she could talk to and spent time with. Rey was glad, that she could share stories with Rose about their pasts and that she could talk with her about the negativity, with which she and Ben were confronted. She knew that she always could talk with Ben about everything, but Rose had a more comforting and stable character. Speaking with Ben was always more intense because they could feel each other emotions, and both were filled with much inner turmoil. Rey also liked to expand the number of people, with whom she felt save because she had to rely on herself for far too long.

Rose gladly confided her hurt over Finn’s change and distance to Rey. After their fight on Crait, she had thought, she and Finn were getting closer, but the following weeks had shown Finn fluctuating more towards Poe. She could also tell Rey all her stories and about all her adventures with her sister. Rey was a good listener and helped Rose with her grief about Paige’s death.

* * *

Many people combed through the intelligence brought to the Resistance by Ben a month ago, but Rose was the first one to discover anomalies inside the Stormtrooper program. She uncovered how defected troopers were hidden in the systems to make the program seem more efficient. Rose consulted with Ben what they should do with the information about the increasing defections after Finn had been rather disinterested in any clues, that weren’t about weapons, ships, troop-numbers, and similar things.

Together they worked out, that the biggest group of defected stormtrooper were hiding on Kef Bir. Both were accompanied by Rey and Chewie – who had only gradually warmed up to Ben being back, it took time and many conversations and sharing memories of Han until they got close to the relationship, they had, when Ben was still a child – on the Millennium Falcon when they traveled to the moon to meet them.

As the small group landed, they immediately noticed the giant ruins of the second Death Star laying in the lashing waters of the ocean near their landing site. Eerily it dominated the coastline. Getting ready to scan their environment to find the ex-Stormtrooper group, people riding animals approached them. Chewie and Rey positioned themselves in the center with their weapons – the bowcaster and the red crossguard lightsaber – and were flanked by Ben on one and Rose on the others, who each held one blaster.

An imposing woman, that seemed to be the leader of the small band of warriors, started speaking. “Who are you? And where did you get Kylo Ren’s weapon?” Rey was responsible for their mission and took it upon herself to answer. “We are part of the Resistance, looking for a group of defected Stormtroopers.” The horse riders exchanged various looks. “And I carry this lightsaber because Kylo Ren is no more.”

“My name is Jannah,” the woman introduced herself. “Do you claim to have defeated Kylo Ren.” With a small smile, Rey looked to Ben. “Not quite. Kylo Ren was a mask, a persona in service of the First Order. The person behind the mask was manipulated to work for the First Order like many others, but he freed himself and joined the Resistance after killing Snoke and Hux.” Rey pointed to Ben.

A murmur wandered through the unknown group. “You found us. What do you want,” Jannah asked, thereby revealing the group’s identity? Rose took a step forward and Rey nodded her agreement for Rose to begin their negotiations. “We want to defeat the First Order. After Snoke’s and Hux’s death and Kylo Ren’s defection, we have the perfect possibility to end them for good. But we want to prevent unnecessary deaths of people coerced to work for them. We believe, that we can start a revolution through the stormtrooper program, but we need help and support for this to succeed – your help and support.” The answer from Jannah came swiftly. “We are certainly interested. Do you want to join us for dinner, so we can discuss this further?”

While the dinner party was in full progress, Ben stood at the coast and observed the death-star-wreckage. Rey decided to join him. Stepping beside him, he asked her without looking at her. “Do you feel it, too. The higher concentration of the force on this chunk of debris, there?” he pointed at a rather undestroyed part of the death star. Rey reached out trying to find, what Ben described. As she sensed alongside the wreckage, she discovered the small parts where the force seemed to sing and gather in a higher amount than usual. “What is it?” she asked Ben.

“The Death Star used kyber crystals to power its laser. The same crystals that are inside lightsabers. They are attuned to the force and focus energy and amplify its intensity. I think, there are still some over there. We could try to retrieve them so you can build your own lightsaber.” He explained to her. Rey nodded excitedly, grabbed his hand, and leaned against him. “But what is with your lightsaber? What have you planned to do with it?” She asked Ben.

Ben took his old lightsaber from Rey’s belt. “I bonded with this crystal when I built this saber. Through my own pain, I bleed it. I think there is a possibility not to reverse the process, but to heal the wound. I think it is something, I have to do. Heal the wounds I suffered, or I caused – and this crystal is one part of it.” Rey nestled up to Ben and put her head under his chin. “That sounds like a good plan. How about tomorrow, we try to find these crystals on the Death Star and on our way back, we can look for a way to heal yours?” In answer, Ben just pulled Rey closer to him and put his arms around her – attaching his weapon to her belt again.

* * *

Rey and Ben stayed at the coast for quite some time, just enjoying each other and the landscape around them. They felt safe in each other arms and far away from the Resistance and the First Order and they planned on taking advantage of this rare moment. When they rejoined the group in the camp around the fire, most of them were asleep, so both decided to wait for the morning to discuss their plans with Rose, Chewie, and Jannah and ask them about their negotiation.

After they woke up, Rose and Jannah informed them, that they had a successful evening and the band of ex-stormtroopers would join the Resistance – Rose had already made a call to the base to have a bigger transport sent. Rey asked Jannah if they knew a way to get on the ruins in the ocean. She pointed them towards an ocean speeder they possessed, but also said, that they should try to use the Falcon to land on the ruins because that would be safer if they were good pilots.

So, Chewie and Rey landed the Falcon on a stable looking part of the Death Star near the place, where they had sensed what would hopefully be kyber crystals. Ben directed them from the open ramp because it was no easy maneuver to touch down on the small and uneven ground of the wreckage part.

Rey led Ben across the ruins because she had more experience than him navigating inside broken empire ships. They got safely to their destination, which was revealed to be an old cargo bay. It was mostly empty, but there was still one canister stored in the room and when they opened it, they found several kyber crystals, who probably had been too small to be immediately used for the death star laser. Ben and Rey carried them back to the Falcon and when they met with the others on land again, the Resistance transport had arrived and the animals, that were ridden by the ex-stormtroopers were loaded onto the ship. A short time later both ships took off to travel back to their base.

On their way, Ben explained to Rey how she would have to build her lightsaber, using the images and explanations, she already knew from the Jedi books she had consulted after Crait. Then they discussed together, how Ben could try to heal his bled kyber crystals. Because the crystals were alive in some form, they decided he should try to bond with them and connecting to the pain inside them and then combine it with good emotions and the healed pain inside of him to close the wounds inside the crystal.

* * *

After returning to the base, both reported back to Leia and the rest of the leadership, so they could further their planning with Rose and Jannah. Ben and Rey gathered the parts, she needed for her lightsaber construction and then secluded themselves inside their room. Rey needed several hours to build her saber and bond with the crystal – Ben used that time to open his unfinished saber and bonded with his crystal.

He traced every bit of pain he had poured into the crystal and released it. He let it flow through him and attached his more positive memories to them, as well as the ones, where he had healed or ended old sources of pain, like killing Snoke, accepting him grieving his father’s death, or finally not having to fear Luke. Making himself vulnerable in this process, led to tears streaming down his face, opening himself up for this pain, but allowing Rey’s past comfort existing beside it, was a cathartic experience. Ben sensed the change inside his body, soul, and heart. A long way still laid in front of him, but he could walk it with hope and conviction, that he was on the right path, because Rey was with him and his mother was waiting for him at a future point of his path. It would lead him to peace, happiness, family, and home. Ben felt how he was freed from the pressure of the Skywalker’s legacy and Snoke’s manipulation. A ray of sunlight brightened the path in front of him.

Ben finished his process before Rey and used the time to observe her. He traced how her hair framed her face – not being put into the three buns, she had worn on Takodana, instead, she wore a similar style to when she had come to him on the Supremacy. He counted the freckles sprinkled on her faces, tracing the constellations they formed on her skin with his eyes. He spent time watching her cute nose and imagine kissing her mouth, down to her jaw and down her neck. His gaze wandered alongside her slim form, then taking her whole posture in.

Ben still couldn’t believe, that someone like Rey had come barging into his life. Her presence had almost singlehandedly destroyed the shackles that held him down and had forced him to be Kylo Ren. She always encountered him with compassion but was confident and stubborn enough, that she called him out on his shit. Most wondrous were the times, she let herself be vulnerable right in front of him and trusted him to take care of her. No one ever relied on him giving them comfort, almost everyone thought of him as incapable of such an act, and yet Rey gifted him so much, that he had missed in his life.

It often seemed like, she could walk through life, through dark and white and grey without any weight holding her back, but he had realized, that this was a hardly acquired skill. She was complex and sometimes difficult to understand but getting to know her and getting closer to her, was more than worth it. Ben was happy, to be allowed to be at her side, spending the future with her. He hoped that they would never be separated. And he would do everything, that his mistakes wouldn’t cause that.

Finally, the lightsaber in front of Rey closed itself and fell softly on the ground. Rey slowly opened her eyes, a small smile growing on her face when she noticed Ben observing her. “Hey,” she whispered to him. “Hey,” he said back. Ben leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Rey’s eyes closed when his mouth moved against hers. Through the bond, they were perfectly attuned to each other, and the balance and bliss pouring through them both while they kissed, made their hearts flutter.

When Ben pulled back, Rey pointed to his lightsaber and asked him, if they should try them out. Rey had decided to forego the classic one-bladed designs and instead modeled her weapon after her quarterstaff. She was more familiar with that fighting style and most of her learned instincts used a staff. Expectant she held her new weapon in front of her and then thumped the ignition mechanism. With a deep breath, she activated both blades. A radiant golden light poured out of both ends. With wide eyes, Rey looked at the golden saberstaff in her hands. “It’s beautiful,” murmured Ben. “You did really well, this is marvelous work.” Brightly smiling she glanced at him and giggled, a small blush forming on her face. “Now it’s your turn,” Rey said and put her new weapon away.

Ben was visibly nervous. He was certain, that something had worked, when he had bonded with his crystal, but didn’t know, what result it had. Rey and Ben looked at his saber – Rey eager and Ben wary. Then he ignited it – and orange light filled the room. “Wow Ben, it worked.” Ben moved the hilt around and watched it for a long time. “There is still some red in it.” Rey put one arm around Ben’s waist to comfort the conflicting emotions inside him, that couldn’t decide what to think about the new color. “Of course, there is still some red in it. It is still a part of your past, a part of you. And that is okay. Look, the red probably mixed itself with yellow, resulting in orange. I think it shows, that you understand that your pain isn’t something, that will never bother you again, but that you will find a new way forward, that illuminates the darkness that oppressed you in the past.”

Ben pondered on Rey’s words for a long time, while being steadied by her presence and arms. He finally began to be convinced of the truth in her words, yet in that night, after they went to bed, he curled up in a ball, his face pressed into Rey’s chest, while she held him in her arms.

* * *

Ben’s reconciliation with his mother took time. Their conversations with each other often were stiff and overshadowed and burdened by the events of the waged war, that forced them to focus on defeating the First Order, instead of mending their relationship. Yet both confessed their love for each other privately to Rey. Rey talked with Rose about which way was the best to help them along in their process and she suggested a dinner, the three of them should take together, where they weren’t allowed to talk about the current events of the war, but only the past. Rey should mediate the conversation, to prevent, that it would just repeat the failed attempts.

Ben and Leia both agreed to Rey’s proposition and when they met in the evening, Rey began by telling them both of the conversations she had with each of them alone. Ben and his mother were silent for a long time and looked at each other until Ben suddenly decided to sputter out the confession, that plagued him for the longest time. “I hate, that I killed him. That I killed, dad.” He saw the shock in Leia’s face and tears were flowing from his eyes. “I am so sorry. I… I… I thought I had to kill him, I wanted to be free of the light. I was so convinced that I had to that. But I was so wrong. I miss him so much.”

Leia rushed around the table and took her son in her arms and together they mourned their lost family member. Ben shook in her arms and his anguish poured out of him. “I hate that Snoke made you do that. I hate that you did that. But I don’t hate you, Ben. Han knew the risk, but he was convinced of doing everything that was possible so you would come home. Even if it meant his own death. Han had a long life, with many good, but also many bad things in it. I think he is ok, that your way home, started with him sacrificing his life. He certainly isn’t happy about it. This is Han we’re talking about, but it was his way of reconciling the mistakes he made in the past, his failures.”

And as if a dam was broken, both shared their stories and feelings with each other. They learned about the other's perspective and what they thought about their mistakes. Ben consoled his mother, when she told him, that she was ashamed of her behavior when he was a child. Leia was furious when she realized the true extent of Snoke’s manipulation and appalled at her brother’s betrayal. Many tears fell that night and Rey was happy, that the evening was the starting point of the improvement of the relationship, between the last two Skywalkers, that were still alive.

* * *

It took the Resistance a year to defeat the First Order. Some small parts of the First Order had defected and had joined crime syndicates, that would have to be dealt with in the future, but officially the war against the Order was won. Jannah and Rose had caused many riots by Stormtrooper battalions – with Ben’s help they had identified the places, where they would be the most effective and Jannah’s and his story were used to incite the rebellion, that was a major part of the downfall of the First Order and prevented many unnecessary deaths. Finn and Poe coordinated and led many dangerous missions against zealous Order members and emerged victorious from their various battles. After the war, they formed the small army, that would hunt down the last remnants, that had joined smaller warlords and crime syndicates.

Leia used her connections to install a council, that would establish a new galaxy-wide government. She decided on a good and balanced mixture of old and established rulers and politicians and newer, younger ones, who knew about the failures of past governments and had fresh ideas that they wanted to implement. She herself only took a smaller advisory role, because she had given enough of her life to this cause, and she wanted to spend more of her time, with her son – and the family, that he had begun to build.

* * *

With the end of the war in sight, talk of a trial and possible punishment emerged in the Resistance. They had learned to accept and tolerate the presence of the former Supreme Leader in their midst, but many were still convinced, that Ben should face a trial for his crimes. But a strong opposition opposed these plans, consisting of Leia and Rey, and Rose, Jannah, and other fellow ex-stormtroopers. They recognized Ben’s story as one of their own. The circumstances who they had all joined the First Order and their defection should be exculpating factors in the judgment of their persons.

In long nights Ben talked with the others about their possibilities. It was clear, that he had no intention of assuming a political position in the future, so that risk was inexistent. Ben and Rey also had talked about building a home somewhere, where they could be happy. Rey’s dream of a green and peaceful place had implanted itself in Ben’s mind and he asked her if she would want to live with him in Varykino – the home of his maternal grandmother on Naboo. Rey had gladly accepted his proposition – seeing her vision of their happy future becoming true filling her with happiness. Ben also pledged to stay on Naboo for the foreseeable future as a form of self-exile. He had everything he needed there – and had no wish of risking to lose his chance on a happy end for traveling around the galaxy.

The defendants of a trial recognized, that they couldn’t just easily execute their wish. They reluctantly accepted Ben’s self-exile and refusal to take on a political office. A precarious balance was achieved between the groups to avoid the controversy and confrontation that would follow if one side tried to force a trial or the other tried to ignore their concerns.

* * *

One year later, Rey and Ben had made a home in Varykino. It had cost them some time to get used to the grand mansion and to find a comfortable routine. Rey had opened a mechanical workshop, that was famous for her impeccable work, which led to her having enough work, even if it was located in a somewhat remote location on Naboo. Through the contacts he had because of his grandmother, Ben was introduced to the dean of Theed University, who offered him a teaching position for mythology, after he had talked many times with Ben, and noticed his big treasure of knowledge in that rather unknown department. Ben had to be in Theed three times a week, which led to him traveling early in the morning to the capitol and returning in the late afternoon.

Ben and Rey had learned from the process of them finding back to each other and of Ben reconciling with his mother, and often talked about their feelings, to not let resentment fester, and to address the many insecurities they had. After ten months of living on Naboo, Ben had proposed to Rey, after they had talked about extending their small family.

Ben and Rey both refused to build a proper school to teach force-sensitive children. Yet they always welcomed people, that sought help and support. They discovered Rey’s pregnancy one month after their marriage in their 13-month living in Varykino. Before their first daughter was born, Leia had arrived in the company of a young boy on Naboo. She had met him with Rose on Canto Bight. Rey and Ben needed no convincing to let him stay with them because the force-sensitive child would have ended up alone in an orphanage otherwise.

Rose and Jannah, who lived together and had founded their own family with each other, were regular visitors on Naboo, too. Rose had opened up a workshop in Theed and Jannah founded a stable, where she taught people to ride on the animals. The following years were mostly peaceful – besides some smaller skirmishes, but they had no effect on the Naboo population, yet Rey loosely followed Poe’s and Finn’s progress in fighting them, illegal slavery, and other violent groups.

Many years later, Ben and Rey would sit comfortably in big chairs on their balcony, laughter from their older and younger children, adopted and not, ringing through the air, observing the green sea of meadows beneath them. Through their bond trickled Rey’s words, that seemed to be from a different life. “The thing I want most… a simple happy life with you in a peaceful green place.” Rey snuggled up to Ben, their heads leaned against each other, their hands interwoven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short notice:  
> I hope, Finn’s and Poe’s depiction doesn’t come across as too negative. They aren’t bad people in this story, they are just stuck to a certain perspective and certain values, that they are unwilling to change, because they perceive them as the only ones that are right and just. Their character clash with Rey’s, Rose’s, and Ben’s and the decision they make. This leads to them being distanced in the future, even if they’ll all play important roles in the galaxy. Sometimes relationships aren’t built on strong foundations and they crumble – and that is okay. If they would stay together, they would be unhappier, then when they realize their differences and act upon them.  
> In a longer story, all these characters would have the chance to really cycling through their own journey, but the consequence of shorter stories ist, that progress is only hinted at or just has no place, which leads to characters being unfairly judged for their decisions or their values. The separation of Poe and Finn from the rest of the group is a decision I wouldn't usually make, but I think has his merit in this story.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading my work. I have a longer work in progress, that is almost halfway done - and many more ideas, I want to write (maybe it is time for a story playing in our modern universe, instead of in a galaxy far, far away).


End file.
